The NBA Finals are over. The Stanley Cup Final is on the verge of finality. The Paddleheads were off last night.

Sports become scarce during the dog days of summer, so to fill that void I decided to write a story about a hypothetical scenario *drumroll please*.

If I fought every mascot in the Big Sky Conference, how many would of those would I win?

I got the idea from a Redditor who posted a similar thought. Instead of Big Sky teams the Redditor asked if he could beat NFL Mascots (Lions, Bears, Cowboys, etc.) This is true journalism, folks. Stories like these are why I spent thousands of dollars to obtain a college degree in journalism. My parents are so proud.

Here's How it Works

First off, if you haven't met me before I am 5'9, 145 pounds sopping wet. I am not a large guy and not muscular by any sense of the word. In other words, I am not winning many fights, and I've never even been in a fight.

Second, I'm not fighting the actual person in the mascot suit itself. I am fighting the real life team name. Montana, for instance, I would hypothetically fight a grizzly bear... definitely would lose that one.

Now picture me dropped into a Roman Collesium. I'm scheduled for 10 fights against each of the Big Sky Conference mascots.

1. Grizzly (University of Montana)
2. Bobcat (Montana State University)
3. Bengal (Idaho State University)
4. Vandal (University of Idaho)
5. Eagle (Eastern Washington University)
6. Wildcat (Weber State University)
7. Viking (Portland State University)
8. Hornet (Sacramento State University)
9. Lumberjack (Northern Arizona University)
10. Bear (University of Northern Colorado)

It's a one-on-one battle with no weapons. It's not a swarm of hornets or a family of bears. Just a good old-fashioned mano a mano fantasy battle. How many of those mascots can I defeat in combat?

Let's find out...

Big Sky Conference Mascots Ranked on How Easily I Could Beat Them in a Fight

I came up with a random thought the other day. "If I were to get in a fight with every mascot in the Big Sky Conference, how many of those fights could I win?" For clarification: I am fighting whatever animal/person the team's nickname is (Grizzlies, Bobcats, etc.) in a one-on-one setting. No outside weapons being used, just a classic mano e mano fight.

What I've learned is I have very little chance at winning most of these fights.


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