10 Magical Items Banned From eBay

The moment we found out eBay is banning magical items was the exact same moment we found out you can buy magical items on eBay. Of course! Why didn’t we think of this sooner?!

Since eBay is “discontinuing a small number of categories within the larger metaphysical subcategory,” you’ve got until the end of August to stock up on potions, curses, magic, hexes, spells and the like.  We’ve found some good ones for you if you’re just itching to start buying (none of them cure itching).

Healing Dream Pillow

This amazing pillow does all the work for you while you sleep — like a magical, golden Roomba.

Three Wishes Genie

Somebody got their hands on an ancient genie and will make it grant you three wishes, but the joke’s on them, because our third wish is to set the genie freeeeeeee!

Haunted Change Purse

If you don’t support the enslavement of genies, you could always buy a haunted coin purse, and make your riches that way. (Warning: riches may come in the form of loose change.)

Demonic Charging mat

It’s like a Duracell Powermat, but for demons instead of cell phones.

Demon Destroyer Potion

And when you’ve accidentally overcharged your demons (which is obviously going to happen), you can buy this handy dandy demon destroying potion. Until September. After that you’re on your own.

Haunted Porcelain Doll

Be warned! According to the seller, this doll is a “real brat” and will steal your covers in the middle of the night, especially during the winter.

Haunted Antique Serving Spoon

The seller wants to be very clear that this is just a haunted fork and spoon, no doll! Not after the blanket-stealing fiasco from the last time.

Love Trap Spell

Nothing says “true love” quite like putting a heart in a bear trap.

Skull and Crossbones Candle

Except of course for a big, black skull and crossbones candle.

Haunted Grandma

This Haunted Grandma wants to sell you her wish-granting giraffe! Haunted Grandma makes Regular Grandmas seem pretty lame.