Montana, Oil Wrestling Is So In Right Now

Have you heard of "Oil Wrestling" before? Because I sure haven't. Last weekend Turkey put on its 663rd annual Kirkpinar Oil Wrestling Championships. The Associated Press' description of the sport is when "Wrestlers cover themselves in olive oil, making it more difficult for opponents to grab them. The winner is the wrestler who makes his opponent's back touch the ground."

via GIPHY

It's a rich tradition in Turkey, but boy oh boy that sounds uncomfortable. If you cook at home and spill even a drop of olive oil on your hands it feels like it adheres to your skin for hours. Even if you wash your hands it clings to you for days, or at least feels that way. Now imagine dousing EVERY INCH OF YOUR BODY with Pompeian. You'd be slick for eons.

With all that being said, the winner took home just under 17 thousand dollars and a big gold belt. It's all worth it then.

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Unfortunately, Montana doesn't host oil wrestling events (or maybe fortunately if you're grossed out by it... which I am).  Instead of olive oil, how about a...

Huckleberry Jam Wrestling Compeition

It will cost a pretty penny to squish enough huckleberries to cover 40 competitors in a wrestling competition, but huckleberries are synonymous with Montana. If we put on a huckleberry jam rasslin' challenge the Associated Press will report about us. And maybe, if it gets enough coverage potential tourists will read it and go "What the heck? What is wrong with those Montanans? We don't want to visit those freaks."

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Problem solved. Now we don't have to worry about overcrowding because we'll seem so appalling.

We could also host a cherry wrestling tournament up in the Flathead...

Why did I write this article? I feel nauseous thinking about wrestling anyone covered in oil or fruit.