7 Events If Montana Hosted The Olympics

I can picture it now: the Olympic Torch is lit in Miles City and conveyed to Missoula by all the famous Montanans. In the most eclectic of Olympic torch bearers, we have Phil Jackson, Brent Musburger (if he's still spry enough), Dana Carvey, Brock Osweiler, the ghost of Jeannette Rankin and J.K. Simmons. Now that's what I call an opening ceremony.

via GIPHY

Events Montana would dominate the rest of the world

I stumbled across a list of "The 10 Events If Louisiana Had Its Own Olympics" and wanted to create a Montana version. The Louisiana chapter had skeeter scratching, beer pong, gator wrestling and other Bayou bops.

Montanans might not be able to rassle gators as well, but we could kick some serious butt in these 7 events.

READ MORE: Missoula Swimmer Reaches Pinnacle Of Sports, Reaches Olympics

Wildfire Fighting

We have the bravest men and women firefighters protecting us from the elements every day. Line our squad up with the best and we'll bring home the gold.

Out-of-staters hatred

I haven't stumbled across many folks who can despise the out-of-town tourists/residents quite like Montanans.

Backpacking

The landscape and true ruggedness of most of the state have prepared us for the Olympics Backpacking event.

Failure to comprehend how roundabouts work

But seriously, how do some of y'all not get it?

Ranching

A Montanan rancher >>>>>

Bear wrestling (keep your gator wrestling)

We don't need gator wrestling because we'll one-up you and fight a grizzly.

River Floating

Montanans can float a river from start to finish faster than the rest of you lot.